Baby Takeover

Hi Y’all! I wanted to discuss an important topic today, baby takeover. If you’re a mom or dad you can relate to this all too well. When you’re pregnant with your first it’s just you and your SO. All the alone time, date nights, and snuggles with the dog are uninterrupted by baby.

Then you have said baby and your life quickly flips and becomes all about baby. I have a harder time leaving baby E than Paul does. He admits it, I don’t know if it’s a mom thing or if I’m crazy. (Surely I’m not alone) I feel like every second off of work I should be spending with my baby. When I went back to work I felt like I was missing out on my baby girls’ life. Luckily, I have a wonderful mom (emmie’s Gigi) who watches her so I get snapchats and baby talk frequently, but it doesn’t help the guilt I first felt. How do you explain to a baby that you have to leave but you’ll be back or the fact that you only get 5 hours with them before bedtime. I have the hardest time with this. When I’m home with E I want to be as present as possible, phones away, not watching TV, just playing with my little girl. On the weekends I want to do the same thing. I always said before having Emersyn my man and I would continue date nights and alone time. Which I know is so very important so that you can continue a great relationship with each other. However, after our little girl arrived I found that so much harder to do. Anytime we are out I’m constantly wondering what she’s doing, or what I could be doing with her. I think my fear is I already miss out on so much since I’m at work, that I don’t want to miss anymore of her little life. I have already seen first-hand how fast they grow. First I’m holding this tiny baby and next thing I know, I have a six month old. I love my fiancé dearly and I love time with him but I have struggled with allowing myself to be okay away from Emersyn. I don’t have anxiety that she isn’t being taken care of; I have sadness that I don’t get to be the one taking care of her. We have a date night planned to go to a concert and hotel. (First night away from baby) and I’m looking forward to it, but I already know I’m going to miss her. I think that’s where us mom’s need to find a balance. Allowing ourselves to take a breather and recharge our battery. If you get excited for the babysitter to come over or can’t wait to get out, I’m not calling you a bad mom by any means. In fact leave a comment on how you learned to just relax away from baby!

7 Replies to “Baby Takeover”

  1. I had to do a lot of running around to sort out my bubba s passport and visa. So that helped cuz i was focusing on something else.
    Also in our culture – mama and baby get massages for a month. So that would mean i spend an hour away from him. Botg of us under the same roof but diff rooms so that baby is not bothered by the smells.
    And that helped too.cuz it was relaxation for me so i was at peace.

    For me the biggest thing is knowing baby is well taken care of!

  2. I can only imagine. My little guy is going to be here in less than a month and I’m already dreading, having to go back to work and leave him with a sitter. Keep up the good work mama.

    1. congrats on the upcoming bundle of joy!! You will enjoy every moment you have on maternity leave, it goes by way too fast!

  3. I know exactly what you’re talking about. Going back to work was the worst. I cried and cried the whole week leading up to it. I know he’s safe and being taken care of, I’m just so afraid I’m missing time with him and he’s going to be grown up before I know it. Lately he has been getting sad/crying when Dad or Gma or daycare shows him video chats of me or says “mama” and its killing me. Stay strong, find time for yourself and for your fiance. It’s good for everyone.

    1. My little love hasn’t started saying “mama” but when she does I know it’s going to be so hard to leave her. I know exactly what you mean about missing out on them growing up. I definitely hold her just a little bit longer after she falls asleep at night, I think those snuggles are more for me than for her.

  4. I know exactly what you mean. I always swore my husband and I would have “regular” date nights, yet here we are not spending quality alone time together in months. It’s hard to find that balance!

  5. I think despite how hard this is for you, it’s so GREAT that you are actually continuing to do this. I am pregnant with my third, my eldest is about to be 4 years old, and my second is 2, we have only been on like 5-7 dates in the last 4 years. Least to say I myself can count maybe 20 times I have had a break from the kids in 4 years. This has obviously taken a huge toll on me and my family but we really barely have support and can’t afford babysitters so I am so glad you are doing this because believe me in the long run, it will be what you look back on and be so appreciative of because you deserved it.

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