Hi Y’all! I had a realization this weekend, my fiancé and I have been on a total of maybe 10 dates by ourselves since Emersyn was born. I say 10 but it’s honestly probably more like 6. This past weekend we had our first night away from baby E, and I don’t just mean a date night, we actually stayed in a hotel away from her. (I missed her like crazy) Paul had bought me Luke Bryan tickets for my birthday and we had a hotel stay gifted to us for Christmas. Paul planned it all out and the weekend finally came. It broke my heart to leave Emersyn behind. I go to work for nine hours and that is the longest I’ve been away from her, but I knew that Paul and I needed this. I realized this weekend that I have been abandoning my fiancé. I have pushed him aside and consumed all of my time with our baby. Now when I say I abandoned him I don’t mean I have completely ignored him, I mean I have stopped making “us” time a priority. I have stopped trying/wanting to go on dates because that means I have to leave Emersyn even more than I already do with work. I have struggled finding the perfect balance between being a good mom and a good partner.
This Saturday we checked into the hotel and went to dinner at this German place in downtown. We sat and talked, we had a conversation without being interrupted by a sweet little girl babbling away (although we did miss her being at the table.) We sat and talked to each other, actually listening to what the other one had to say. While we were at the concert singing and dancing, I just kept looking over at him, in awe that he’s mine. This man, who still to this day gives me butterflies, is standing next to me confused why I keep staring at him. I stood there dumbfounded that I haven’t tried to spend more alone time with him since E was born. I realized I needed to stop feeling selfish for spending a couple hours away from our precious girl and take time for our love. I mean that, when you have a baby your whole world changes, including the love you have for your partner. Your love is what created that little soul and it’s just as important to nurture that love as it is to nurture your child. I never want him to feel like he’s been pushed aside. This weekend we made a promise to each other to go out and spend time with each other at least once a month. I am genuinely excited to be able to go through life with him by my side. I’m also elated that Emersyn and our future little(s) get to grow up in a home where they will see what genuine love looks like, that is so important to me. So to my fiancé, you make my heart skip a beat and my mind race, I love you bunches and I’m so happy you’re my baby daddy.